Я хочу, чтобы последний день лета унес с собой все летние наваждения и осень оставила меня в покое, просто оставила меня в покое...

Song singing now

Lemar - "If there's any justice in the world"

If there's any justice in the world,
I would be your man,
You would be my girl,
If I'd found you first, you know it's true,
He would be alone,
I would be with you...

... Just because he's wrapped around your finger,
Don't fool yourself with dreams that might appear,
If in time you'll stop and trust your feelings,
The truth is out there somewhere
It's blowing in the wind...

Simple

A simple phrase found on some website accidentally, totally shook my world today.

'NEVER LEAVE THE ONES YOU LOVE FOR THE ONES YOU LIKE...'

So simple and demarcating. That is why it happens the way it does. That is why I am where I am. I would do the same, exactly the same, and I understand him and respect him more than ever before.

The insidious 'if' attempted to mess it all up, but I'm happy it failed - COMPLETELY! If we met earlier... Crap! There's no Subjunctive Mood in history.

I'm just to stand these holidays, the wedding...

Curtain falls. T-H-E E-N-D.

Irgendwas, das bleibt...

I've just discovered one super cool German pop/rock band Silbermond. And completely fell in love with their music and texts. Their new hit "Irgendwas bleibt" shook my world with its unpretentious, but deep and touchy lyrics, and a beautiful melody.

It's just the way I feel, and I dare to borrow their lines to devote them to my sweet Somebody...

Sag mir, dass dieser Ort hier sicher ist
und alles Gute steht hier still.
Und dass das Wort, das du mir heute gibst,
morgen noch genauso gilt.

Diese Welt ist schnell
und hat verlernt beständig zu sein.
Denn Versuchungen setzen ihre Frist.
Doch bitte schwör, dass wenn ich wieder komme,
alles noch beim Alten ist.

Gib mir ein kleines bisschen Sicherheit
in einer Welt in der nichts sicher scheint.
Gib mir in dieser schweren Zeit irgendwas das bleibt.

Gib mir einfach nur ein bisschen Halt.
Und wieg mich einfach nur in Sicherheit.
Hol mich aus dieser schnellen Zeit.
Nimm mir ein bisschen Geschwindigkeit.
Gib mir was… irgendwas, das bleibt.

Auch wenn die Welt den Verstand verliert,
das ‘Hier’ bleibt unberührt.
Nichts passiert...

Gib mir ein kleines bisschen Sicherheit
in einer Welt in der nichts sicher scheint.
Gib mir in dieser schweren Zeit irgendwas das bleibt.

Gib mir einfach nur ein bisschen Halt.
Und wieg mich einfach nur in Sicherheit.
Hol mich aus dieser schnellen Zeit.
Nimm mir ein bisschen Geschwindigkeit.

Gib mir was... irgendwas, das bleibt.

Song singing now

Katy Perry - Hot n Cold

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes...

'Coz you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down

lalala

I was peacefully walking along the office corridor when Lyova showed up singing this song. Noooo!.. And now I can't get rid of it... / I surely thanked him heartily for the gift he has given to me... :)

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes...

It's almost 8 p.m. now, and I'm still at work. There's practically nobody in the office except for a couple of people. Even our new management team has left for a New Year's party of the department of our parent company where they all used to work before coming here when Maxim was appointed CEO... I have an awful headache, but I need to stay at work due to coming too late to the office today (went to submit the docs for the visa in the morning)... Ah please somebody come take me hooooooome!..

Have just got a supportive message from Lera: "Hold on Ianko! Work is temporary. Your soul's eternal" :)))

I wanted to go to Dan's party tonight, but now all I dream of is my dear soft bed...

Will write more later from home... maybe.

Cheers!

Song singing now

Sharam & Daniel Bedingfield - The One

Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?..

Some kind of boy, some kind of girl
Some kind of song around the world...

If you're not the one, I don't know who is...

lalala

Guess it's stuck in my brain 'coz it was the last song I heard on the radio before I finally woke up in the morning... It's already 3 p.m. now, but I'm still singing it non-stop...

Mood

I was waiting these holidays so anxiously since I had so many plans promising me a fantastic time, and I hurried so much home on a Friday evening to start the weekend at once. But instead I got a bunch of offensive words, silence, days broken and a feeling of enormous guilt and regret inside. This feeling has not left me still by now, and I have a lot of questions to myself - and no answers. Or maybe I don’t feel like knowing the answers?.. Wished to talk to Polina yesterday hoping she will raise my mood. But she was sad herself, constantly asking, “Ah tell me am I gonna find my love in the end? Where does it wander, the feeling which they show in the movies?..” The only good thing of the whole weekend was seeing Mom and spending some time with her, her colleague and their pupils. They are so light, so happy, so cheerful!!! I forgot how to be like that… I stayed overnight with them and was even 20 min in advance to work today! That’s my absolute record. But I’m sitting here in my workplace by myself staring into the monitor… and don’t want nothing… Just wish to lock myself somewhere and never show up again or melt somewhere among those to whom I’m used to, like my close friends or relatives. Don’t want to see anybody new. It’s silly, and I try to fight it, have just sent an sms to Lyuba, “Do we have any party today, or we might just meet up?” But she does not respond… I can go home in the evening and pretend to be busy with some insignificant stuff like making a CD or downloading a movie or making dinner. But it will not put the heart of my worries at rest. Until I know what I want and what I need – what I don’t know yet…

"Где найти ответ?
Где найти покой?
Это просто жизнь -
На уровне с игрой..."

A wave of inspiration

Yesterday I posted my translation of “I Will Come To You” on our fan site. And got replies, “Cool”; “Great. Got any other translations?”; “I’m delighted. Greatly done, I think it’s the best translation”. I am happy :) It’s so important to feel that you have some skills, you CAN do something good. Especially after a number of pressing failures. I feel a sudden wave of inspiration washing me off the usual office routine. And I’ve got some new ideas. Which – you’ll learn it later, after I implement them and if I do it :)