Best friend of a child

On Sunday Lu and I went to watch “The Nanny Diaries”. A nice comedy-melodrama about a young girl working as a nanny in a rich Manhattan family. Nothing special about the plot, but it somehow touched my heart so that I was about to weep at some dramatic points. The scene when the nanny says, “The worst thing that could happen to you is getting attached to the child, but how can you remain indifferent when these two big eyes are looking at you with hope?” was especially strong. For me, because I felt the same when I was giving private classes to a small girl 3 days a week for almost 3 years. Very soon she started sharing her secrets and everyday stuff with me, and once she said I was her best friend. It’s such a small thing to be named ‘best friend’ by an 8-year old girl – and big thing because you feel that this small person trusts you and loves you.

“Yana do you have a child?” – “Nooo, you’re quite enough for me Nastya, believe me” (this was actually meant as irony, ‘coz she was always so noisy and lazy!) - “Cooool! Thaaaaaank you!!” with a tight embrace following.

There were moments when she suddenly addressed me “mama” – first year it confused me, second – amazed, and third – made me almost happy.

I suggested her mother that she would bring Nastya to the music school. The one which I finished, and where my Mom now works. It made me feel proud to advise something useful to her family, being the person whose opinion was important for them.

When I accompanied her to the swimming-pool to put a swimming cap on her head (she can’t do it herself) from time to time when her parents had no time, or when I picked her up after music school classes to bring home and hold an English class there – I was proud, too. I enjoyed playing the role of a ‘big sis’ to this small girl, and everyone took me for her sister in fact. Am I a good actress? But was it acting?!

She always tried my new clothes (jackets, coats, fir coats, scarves, gloves), and every lesson ended in my shouting, “Nastya, return my coat to me, I’m in a hurry, I need to go!” – “No way. You’ll stay here!” – “Nastyaaaaaaaa!!! I said BRING ME BACK MY COAT!!!”

I remember that Tamagochi I bought to her. She was asking it so persistently, that I had to satisfy this need of hers. But when I said it was going to replace her Birthday present, ‘coz that’s enough of presents, she said, “Take it away, I don’t want it. I want to have that Birthday present”. I got angry and upset all in one, took it away and left it somewhere on the steps of the porch. I didn’t regret those 100 rub. spent on it, but I felt like my present meant nothing to her, though I wished it so much to buy her something that she could use and remember me. Sure she is just a child, and she didn’t understand that, and I needed to explain it to her. But well we can’t turn back time, and I must still be not grown up enough if I let these childish acts happen on my side.

She may be different. Quiet and naughty, all heart or mean, she may make you almost furious and want to kill everyone around, she may upset you. But still it fills your heart with such a joy, happiness and completeness when you spend the time with a child. Will she remember me in 10 years? Who knows. But I know that I will always remember these 3 years that I’ve been the best friend of a child.