RMA 2007 (MTV Awards Russia). October 4, 2007

Usually the most-expected October event here until it finally takes part for everyone to see once again that like always it’s total rubbish :) This time it was held in a new Ice Palace on Hodynskoe Field (Hodynka), specially built for the last year World Cup Hockey. Advertisements loading TV and radio, huge colorful posters all around Moscow…

I left work 1 hour earlier to be on time to see the stars getting out of their cars and walking along the Red Carpet. I did not see many of them, ‘coz I had a ticket to the show, and I had to choose – whether to stand in the rain and watch the stars coming, or have a glance at it and go and watch the concert. Besides there were plenty of young people and journalists crowding the passage to the Red Carpet, and there was no chance for us to get closer. We were looking down from the 2nd level passage, like from a balcony, but thank my digi cam, it has big amplification. There was a stage right in the street in front of the Palace where some of the artists performed before the show. I noticed Aleksa standing behind this stage with her dancers, waiting for their turn to come out. Then a pompous limousine arrived and a glamorous girl came out sticking her chewing gum to the limousine roof – brrr, disgusting! Somebody said it was Slava. Who the hell is Slava?? I don’t care. Then there was a grand ‘traffic jam’ before the Palace, and the stars could not settle who would be the first one to come. Some lost patience, and walked out of the cars far from the Red Carpet and came on foot. Such were “Fabrika” girls (they had a small photo session before it, right in the street), “Otpetye Moshenniki” (two of them actually – Sergey Amoralov with some girl, and Garik). Some good-looking young guy even came up to the fans standing behind the fence and spent some time on autographs. But few people paid attention to what he was doing. Probably because of that the poor lad decided to reach the fan space :) Only at the show I learnt that he was a newly-made MTV star, singer and actor, from some teen soap “Alisa’s Dreams” (“Mechty Alisy”) where he played the leading part – Alexey Vorobyov. He is no way interesting, ‘coz he’s just like all other sweet pop guys of whom everyone is completely sick and tired by now. We have Bilan and Lazarev. That’s more than enough. Everyone was waiting for HER. Paparazzi tried to guess the car where she was sitting, but their efforts kept on failing, at least when I was watching it. After 40-something minutes I left the Red Carpet area, and went to search for my seat.

The show did not start even 30 minutes after the fixed time, and everybody started worrying when it would start and thus be over, ‘coz many were to go home by the Metro and the Metro passages were closing at 1 am. “Mumiy Troll” opened the ceremony with a mix of old and new songs, every next text competed the previous one in the degree of senselessness. I just wonder how one can compose such lines, or in which state one can compose such lines, or in which state one has to be to sing what he has composed in the state he was then!!! :)) Finally closer to 8 p.m. (instead of 7!) the Palace saw the show leaders – Anna Semenovich (ex-“Blestyashcie” girl, and ex-figure skater, too) and Pavel Volya (“Comedy Club). Their appearance started a shocking stream of dirt which continued to increase with every new singer or group showing up. I still can’t forget the dialogue between Sergey Zverev (an epatage showman and a hair-stylist) and Irena Ponaroshku (MTV VJ): “I know Sergey you envy my hair-stylist ‘coz he’s capable to cut my hair in such a cool way!” – “What I know is that he’s absolutely incapable to cut the hair on your mink in a cool way!” AND THERE WERE CHILDREN WATCHING THE SHOW!!! During the whole ceremony they were discussing the boobs of Semenovich, and Irena even asked for her permission to touch them at the end of the ceremony. Well we are becoming more and more like Americans with their vulgar way of leading ceremonies… What I wonder now is whether they think we are such morons not to react to any cleverer joke, or they are morons themselves not to be able to write a wiser script for the ceremony?!

But I didn’t care. I came for HER like most of the people, and I was waiting for HER. In the middle of the ceremony I received an sms from Mom who was watching RMA through direct broadcasting: “How can you watch this shit? No voices, no culture, to say nothing about howlers of VJs! I’m shocked of your music taste!!!” Yes, I can understand her reaction. She was 100% right.

There was Bilan and with a premier of his song “Amnesia” performed together with Timbaland (not a bad one, by the way). There was some group “Boycott” performing a song with Turbo B. There were Maksim, Band’Eros, Stasya, Alexey Vorobyov, Chelsea. Talking about Chelsea, Volya said a cool thing: “These guys want fame so much that they even decided to name themselves after the favourite soccer team of a man whom you all know. Hoping to get money from him, too. But judging by the fact that they did not win in any nomination – he gave no money to them by this time!” GREAT! :) I also liked his commentary to the victory of Bianca in the nomination “Best Hip Hop/R&B Project” /Bianca does not rap, she sings very pop songs with some slight hints on R&B/ “Liga’Lize /a famous Russian rapper, probably one of the best ones here/ is weeping backstage, and the whole Russia weeps with him – the best HIP-HOP project is Bianca!!!” :))) Liga’Lize also performed somewhere in the middle of the ceremony. Also “A-Studio”, “Tokio”, “Serebro” and a big present for the audience was a performance of all members of “Blestyashchie” of all times (including Olga Orlova, Zhanna Friske, Anna Semenovich – they are all solo singers now, Friske is the most famous among them). Zhanna Friske introduced her sister Natasha who’s a new member of the group. Others I just don’t remember… AND FINALLY at the end of the ceremony they were greeting Best Foreign Singer – HER, AVRIL!!! And she was giving a small 15-20 min. performance. The only live performance among all!!! “Sk8er Boy”, “Complicated”, “When You’re Gone”, “Girlfriend”. This was her first and long-awaited by all her fans (including me) visit to Russia. Next day she was giving a solo concert in “B1 Maximum”. But that’s another story. I don’t want to deepen into detail descriptions of everyone and everything, just wanted to provide you with a brief overview of where I’ve been and whom I’ve seen. I left right after Avril’s performance. Could not stand the dirty jokes of the VJs. But anyway I was satisfied. I saw Avril, and felt like I was a part of something special for Russia, even if it was not a thing of a good quality. But where can you find quality when we talk about show biz? (Sure “Hanson” is the exception.)

What I thought about during the whole ceremony is that any of my friends could perform not worse (or even better) than all these girls and guys who chanced to get a powerful show biz rat promoting their mediocre songs. “We’ll be together forever ... Oh yeah… Just say ‘yes’!” (“My budem vmeste vsegda… Oh yeah… Skazhi tolko ‘da’) God! What’s this shit about?? No more comments… Russia truly needs an independent company that would forward independent singers and groups who are not lucky to be sons and daughters of rich papas, but who really love music and can do a good performance without dirt, flam and clownishness. Once we have it, we will be right to say, “Yes, we do have show business in Russia”.

Morning words

The paper sheet with these words hangs in my kitchen, and every morning when I'm having breakfast I cast a glance towards it:

'Every day think as you wake up, Today I am happy to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it, I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts toward others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others, as much as I can.'

Very first song

This is my first song. I started writing the text 5 years ago after the end of the 1st “Star Factory” (Russian version of “Pop Stars” or “American Idol”). It’s the song meant to be sung by the winner. I just imagined what song a winner of such project could sing. Then I gave up writing. And returned to it half a year ago just to get it finally finished. And composed the melody, too. This is non-format for me, ‘coz it’s 100% pop song, that’s why I post it here without hesitation.


Your Story

Have you ever though you would be here
On a stage among a million of beams
And the crowds crying out your name
Have you known of your strain?
Have you ever thought you’d win the game
Of creation every single day
And of much tension when they chose you then
And when you were saved again?

Whatever happens in your life
Don’t give up your starting
And one day the fading light
Will turn into the lightning
This is how comes glory
And always believe it’s for you
It’s your story

Have you ever thought it could be true
You’re now acting just like real stars do
Walking manners, dancing, singing skills
Have you known all these things?
You come out, to you they stretch their hands
You are living in some cloud land
When you see that who they need is you!
It lifts you up to the blue

Whatever happens in your life
Don’t give up your starting
And one day the fading light
Will turn into the lightning
This is how comes glory
And always believe it’s for you
It’s your story

Let troubles surround
And knock you down –
Don’t kneel to miseries
Let no one believe it
And uphold your spirit -
Take it as it is
Let tears appear
And bars bring fear –
Remember time will cure
Just don’t turn off your road
And trust one code
That I now know for sure

Whatever happens in your life
Don’t give up your starting
And one day the fading light
Will turn into the lightning
This is how comes glory
And always believe it’s for you…

Whatever happens in your life
Don’t give up your starting
And one day the fading light
Will turn into the lightning
This is how comes glory
And always believe it’s for you
And always believe it’s for you
And always believe it’s for you
It’s your story

The Day of the Interpreter

I have just learnt that yesterday was the Day of the Interpreter.
We were congratulating Lyubas, Nadezhdas, Veras, and Sofias on the day (the Day of St. Sofia and her daughters - Vera, Nadezhda, Lyubov), and nobody knew that I also had a holiday (nor even I!)
SO... I am eager to receive your congratulations!!! You are welcome to wish me all the happiness, luck, health, gloss, love etc etc that exists in the world!!! :)))

PS we will definitely correct it today having a small party with Lyuba and Yegor :)
PS2 there's another date today for me also - my Mom's having a Birthday

A Jump

Прыжок

Смотрю сквозь закрытую дверцу балкона
Мне все здесь не ново, и все - незнакомо
Твой мэйл о побеге в мыслях рвется снарядом
Бежать – но зачем? Ведь я рядом! Я рядом!
Нога – перекладина… Это не шутка!
Стучу. Маш, ну обернись на минутку!
Пытаюсь сломать – не могу… Наклонилась…
Как сделать, чтоб время вдруг остановилось?!

И, голос теряя, с последней надеждой,
Кричу сквозь стекло: «Помнишь, что было прежде?
Ведь мы же любили, мы счастливы были!
Не верю, чтоб вдруг твои чувства остыли!
Наверх, убежать от всего за закатом -
Но я же внизу, как ты сможешь одна там?
Да, жизнь не бывает безоблачной книгой,
Но вспомни о нас, Маш, не бойся, не прыгай!»

Как будто сквозь пластик ты что-нибудь слышишь!
Секунда – прыжок – и – ты больше не дышишь…
Всего лишь прыжок – и погас свет в тоннеле
Один лишь прыжок – и захлопнулись двери…
Внизу, во дворе, суета и гуденье
- 03! – Кто? – Тяжелая жизнь… избавленье…
Смотрю и не вижу… Сознание стерто…
Откуда здесь мяч?.. Да идите все к черту!..

Смотрю и не вижу… Любовь умирает,
А слез нет в глазах – злоба душу сжигает
Ведь ей было проще не биться, а сдаться!
Ей было плевать! Так зачем убиваться?
Скатилась слеза, и еще. Вот напасти!
Один лишь прыжок…Сердце рвется на части…
Мне надо … куда?.. разум мысли теряет…
А что там у них? Увезли? Мама знает?..

Вчера ты сказала: «Мы вместе навечно»
Бреду без разбора… Как жизнь скоротечна!
Один лишь прыжок – и все стало иначе…
Предатель-слеза… Все, я больше не плачу!
Проклятье! Кому? – слышу звон телефона.
Отстаньте!.. Стою у какого-то дома…
И с болью в душе устремляю взгляд к звездам:
Ты нас не ценила – ты бросила просто…

Fate or chance?

Do you wonder why this or that thing happens to you, or why this or that person appears on your way? And when it happens, is it fate or chance? Does it mean anything?

It’s amazing, the very time I start to doubt whether I really need to spend the money on the guitar and midi-keyboard (when I did not have most of other important appliances like microwave-oven, a washing machine etc) I meet a girl on ICQ (no, it was actually she who found me) with the same name, also from Moscow and also a HC member (!), who’s a vocalist of a pop duet (!!). Her husband turns out to be a guitarist, arrangement maker, has his own studio, teaches guitar (!!!), and can help me buy a good guitar and teach me to play it! Besides they are looking for song text authors! What’s that? Is it the way some magic power from above tries to show me that I need to go on? Or do I just simply believe what I desire?

Lena says that every situation we get into is useful ‘coz it teaches or shows us something. She has dozens of evidences to this. So do I, but my stubborn mind still keeps on saying, “Stop it, come to earth, there are no magic powers in the world”. I know. But how else can I explain it? What’s your opinion?

Best friend of a child

On Sunday Lu and I went to watch “The Nanny Diaries”. A nice comedy-melodrama about a young girl working as a nanny in a rich Manhattan family. Nothing special about the plot, but it somehow touched my heart so that I was about to weep at some dramatic points. The scene when the nanny says, “The worst thing that could happen to you is getting attached to the child, but how can you remain indifferent when these two big eyes are looking at you with hope?” was especially strong. For me, because I felt the same when I was giving private classes to a small girl 3 days a week for almost 3 years. Very soon she started sharing her secrets and everyday stuff with me, and once she said I was her best friend. It’s such a small thing to be named ‘best friend’ by an 8-year old girl – and big thing because you feel that this small person trusts you and loves you.

“Yana do you have a child?” – “Nooo, you’re quite enough for me Nastya, believe me” (this was actually meant as irony, ‘coz she was always so noisy and lazy!) - “Cooool! Thaaaaaank you!!” with a tight embrace following.

There were moments when she suddenly addressed me “mama” – first year it confused me, second – amazed, and third – made me almost happy.

I suggested her mother that she would bring Nastya to the music school. The one which I finished, and where my Mom now works. It made me feel proud to advise something useful to her family, being the person whose opinion was important for them.

When I accompanied her to the swimming-pool to put a swimming cap on her head (she can’t do it herself) from time to time when her parents had no time, or when I picked her up after music school classes to bring home and hold an English class there – I was proud, too. I enjoyed playing the role of a ‘big sis’ to this small girl, and everyone took me for her sister in fact. Am I a good actress? But was it acting?!

She always tried my new clothes (jackets, coats, fir coats, scarves, gloves), and every lesson ended in my shouting, “Nastya, return my coat to me, I’m in a hurry, I need to go!” – “No way. You’ll stay here!” – “Nastyaaaaaaaa!!! I said BRING ME BACK MY COAT!!!”

I remember that Tamagochi I bought to her. She was asking it so persistently, that I had to satisfy this need of hers. But when I said it was going to replace her Birthday present, ‘coz that’s enough of presents, she said, “Take it away, I don’t want it. I want to have that Birthday present”. I got angry and upset all in one, took it away and left it somewhere on the steps of the porch. I didn’t regret those 100 rub. spent on it, but I felt like my present meant nothing to her, though I wished it so much to buy her something that she could use and remember me. Sure she is just a child, and she didn’t understand that, and I needed to explain it to her. But well we can’t turn back time, and I must still be not grown up enough if I let these childish acts happen on my side.

She may be different. Quiet and naughty, all heart or mean, she may make you almost furious and want to kill everyone around, she may upset you. But still it fills your heart with such a joy, happiness and completeness when you spend the time with a child. Will she remember me in 10 years? Who knows. But I know that I will always remember these 3 years that I’ve been the best friend of a child.